You might be having a bad day if...

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 hell's angels.

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

You get to work and find a "60 minutes" news team waiting in your office.

Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

You turn on the evening news and they are showing emergency routes out of the city.

Your twin brother/sister forgets your birthday.

Your 4-year old tells you that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.

You discover that your 12-year-old's idea of humor is putting crazy glue in your preparation-H.

You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

You wake up to the soothing sound of running water .... and remember that you just bought a waterbed.

Your car payment, house payment, and girlfriend are three months overdue.

Everyone avoids you in the morning after the company office party.

You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

You receive a 150 page instruction booklet on how to save money ... from the electric company.

Your mother approves of the person you are dating.

Your doctor tells you that you are allergic to chocolate chip cookies.

Everyone loves your driver's license picture.

Your kids start treating you the same way you treated your parents.

People think you are 40 ... and you really are.

Your new lover calls to tell you "last night was terrific" and you remember that you were home by yourself.

Everyone is laughing but you.